1) Smooth landing
One idea behind the Sheva Brachos is that the chatan and kallah are given a smooth, gradual landing back down to normal life. The wedding was a hugely charged atmospheric and exciting event, and it is difficult to come down to normal life from such heights. Therefore, the new couple are eased back down to normal life via sheva brachos meals; occasions which lie halfway between simchas and normal life. This way, the new couple can internalise the inspiration and excitement which was their wedding and gradually translate it into everyday life, as opposed to seeing the inspiration lost due to the quick transition and come-down between wedding and everyday life.
2) And & with
Sometimes the smallest of differences in lashon hakodesh can give rise to a wealth of depth and understanding. The sheva brachos is one such example. The fifth of the sheva brachos ends off mesame’ach chassan ve’challah (‘He who makes the chassan and kallah joyful’), whilst the sixth sheva bracha ends off mesame’ach chassan im hakallah (‘He who makes the chassan joyful together with the kallah). What’s the difference between these two similarly-worded brachos? The first bracha is alluding to the individual growth undertaken and achieved by the chassan and kallah. We are blessing the couple that the have growth and happiness as individuals. However, the next bracha blesses the couple with growth and happiness as a unit (chassan with the kallah). The concept here is that it is important to remember that even though a new couple form a unit, they are still individuals. The fact that one has become half of a bigger whole does not mean that one has to deter or hold back one’s individuality, special skills, or talents. On the contrary, use those talents and direct them for the good of the unit. Thus, we bless the chassan and kallah that they should first retain their individuality be’simcha, and that then they should merit to be be’simcha as a unit too.
