Tatte… its me… do you recognize me? I know that You see me all the time, but I havent seen you. I have been so lost. But now I see you everywhere. I see You in the sky, the moon, the stars, the clouds. I see you when a blade of grass moves and when the wind blows my hair. I see you when a leaf falls and when the tree branches dance for the greatness of Your name. I see You when I say Shema at night and when I wake up in the morning.
I remind myself that even when I am blind, when things are so hard and I mamesh can’t see anything. When my pain is sometimes blinding, I know that in that darkness you are there, holding my hand, guiding me. When I put my hands over my eyes and I can’t see, I know that You will guide me every step of the way. When I look in the mirror. There is a piece of You in me. You are my Creator. I see you when I look at the reflection in my eyes.
I want to make you proud. I want to give You nachas. I know that I got a little lost along the way. But I see now that my “wrong” turns weren’t wrong turns. They led me directly back to You. I have made alot of mistakes, and I felt like You weren’t happy with me. It is easy to feel that way, but it was my Yetzer Hara.
That Yetzer Hara is so powerful. But I know, I realize now, that every mistake was a step of growth, a step of humility, a step closer to You. When I thought it made me distant, I realize that the only one causing the distance was me. You were there with me all along. It has been a year of obstacles, of struggles, where I had no where to turn, but right into Your arms.
I did Tatty, aren’t You proud of me? I know You are. I can feel it in my heart. I know I am a diamond in Your eyes. I am a little dirty though, a little rusty, from all of the distractions and taivas that came my way. I know that I have to clean myself up a lot more. But I am still a diamond. Your diamond. I know you can see how beautiful I really can be.
With hard work and Your help, I can shine with Your light, and reflect it on to others.
Please help me see myself as the diamond that I really am in Your eyes, and help me and all of Klal Yisrael shine with your light, bringing the geula shelaimah and having that light revealed throughout the world.
Your daughter
