Hashem saw that Adam was the only living creature living alone. "Lo Tov Heyos Adam Livado, Eseh Lo Eizer Kinegdo". Literally this means that Hashem saw it is not good for man to be alone, so He decided to make for him a mate to help him. This would imply that the woman was created to help her husband.
Rav Yosef Ben Amram in Ali Be'er learns this pasuk B'Derech Drush quite differently. Hashem was concerned that since Adam was completely alone with no one to challenge him, he would think very highly of himself and forget that he is subject to Hashem above. Moreover without anyone needing his help, he would live purely for himself
1) Smooth landing
One idea behind the Sheva Brachos is that the chatan and kallah are given a smooth, gradual landing back down to normal life. The wedding was a hugely charged atmospheric and exciting event, and it is difficult to come down to normal life from such heights. Therefore, the new couple are eased back down to normal life via sheva brachos meals; occasions which lie halfway between simchas and normal life. This way, the new couple can internalise the inspiration and excitement which was their wedding and gradually translate it into everyday life, as opposed to seeing the inspiration lost due to the quick transition and come-down between wedding and everyday life.
2) And & with
Sometimes the smallest of differences in lashon hakodesh can give rise to a wealth of depth and understanding. The sheva brachos is one such example. The fifth of the sheva brachos ends off mesame’ach chassan ve’challah (‘He who makes the
One of the things done under the chupah is the reading of the kesubah; the document which details the obligations of the groom to his wife. On face value, this seems rather inappropriate. We are witnessing the height of love and commitment between a husband and wife to share their lives together, and suddenly they are read the document which talks about their boring, mundane, everyday obligations - that he must feed and support her, as well as well as whatever dowry she brings into the marriage. But don’t these details spoil the romance and love of the occasion somewhat; how do we reconcile these mundane everyday obligations with the grand, boundless and limitless emotion of love on display under the chupah?
The answer is a key to what love is all about. Love is not merely an emotion which is disconnected from action. Love must be expressed in even the smallest of actions to make the love meaningful and real. Therefore, via the reading of the kesubah we are conveying this message to the happy couple under the chupah; ‘you might feel that you are in love with each other at this very moment, but that emotion of love must be translated into action and real commitment in the realm of everyday life.’ As Rav Dessler used to point out, love (ahavah) is from the root ‘to give’ (hav) - love must be expressed by giving.
The gemarra gives us a vital insight into the heights of spirituality that can be attained via a successful marriage. The gemarra (Sotah 17a) comments that ‘if a man and wife have peace between them, the Shechinah (HaShem’s Presence) resides within them. Whilst if they do not have peace between them then fire consumes them.’ In other words, a peaceful marital home is a conduit for bringing the Shechinah down; the Shechinah resides in such a home. Rashi reveals the depth of what our gemarra is saying. The word for ‘man’ in lashon hakodesh is ish (alef, yud, shin), whilst a woman is an isha (alef shin heh). Now both the words ish and isha have the letters alef and shin, which spell aish (fire), in them. However, the man has a yud, whilst a woman has a heh. Thus, if the man and woman bond in a proper, spiritual, peace-enhancing way then the yud and the heh which form HaShem’s Name come together and are expressed in full. However, if the peace and harmony is removed then the yud and heh are taken away from the words ish and isha, and the result is aish and aish - fire clashing with fire. Indeed, Rav Wolbe would say that this concept of bringing the Shechinah down is behind the mitzvah of making a chassan and kallah joyful. For if we make the new couple full of simcha then their marriage is likely to be more peaceful, which, in turn, means that we are making the Shechinah descend.
A rabbi once visited the illustrious Rabbi Kanievsky, who was called "the Steipler," and he told him that he was looking for a shidduch for his granddaughter. He asked the Steipler what traits were important to look for in a boy, and the Steipler responded, "Diligence in Torah learning, common sense and good character." The visitor wondered, "If he is immersed in Torah and has achieved greatness in it, won’t he automatically have good character?"
"Not necessarily," responded the Steipler. "A student leans on his "shtender" [learning stand] learning Torah diligently in yeshiva for many years. A shtender is a convenient creation. It never asks for help with anything, for example, taking out the garbage or buying something at the grocery, and it never gets angry. There was never a shtender in a bad mood, or a shtender that expected someone to speak kind words of encouragement to it. No shtender has ever gotten sick and required medical treatment...
The second pasuk of Parshas Toldos tells us that ‘Yitzchak was 40 years when he married Rivkah…’ Why, asks the Netziv, is it important for us to know how old Yitzchak was when he got married? The Netziv answers that this is to praise Yitzchak. For Yitzchak did not just marry any girl when he realised he was getting old; he made sure he found the right one. Thus, when he realised that there were no appropriate girls in his area, Eliezer was sent to find a wife for Yitzchak from further a field. Indeed, the Netziv continues that this is why Yaakov did not marry until he was 80 years old - for he simply had not found the right girl for him. The message is to make sure one does not settle for any old partner just because one feels that they will find no-one else. A marriage is about
The pasuk in Parshas shoftim states: "Righteousness, righteousness you shall pursue so that you will live and take possession of the land that Hashem, your G-d, gives you." Why does it need to say righteousness twice? We see often in the torah that words are used to emphasise a point G-d is trying to get across! Being Righteous isn't enough in Hashem's eyes! one must be righteous and pursue righteousness! The following story might help, a man has a favourite tv program, he prepares to sit down and watch this more than he prepares for his date! He prepares the perfect cup of tea/ or cold beer, he gets the tv to the perfect volume, he adjusts his chair to the perfect reclining position and hes ready to watch... coronation street! Anyway two minutes into the episode of corra the program is interrupted with an infomercial showing a thin black child in africa, "This child like many others is strving day in day out and needs your help" reads the caption. "£2 per month is all we need!"...
The Torah goes to great length to repeat the Kobanos of each Nasi. It would have been much shorter to just write it once and then say that all the Nisi'im brought the same Korbanos. Why the lengthy repetition? I once heard an interesting explanation. Many times we find that people who want to do an act of "Frumkeit" feel that they must "out do" what everyone else is doing. If someone spends $X for an Esrog then I must spend $X plus 1. The Torah
*The following segment is a brief outline of tefillas for the wedding day. Please print this out and use it for the Big Day to focus on the Prayers that will be the foundation of your future lives* On your wedding day Hashem listens to all your prayers. Heavens gates are opened to your prayers so ask for anything and everything! (Speak in English to ask for all you want). - Whole family, and each others family. What they need :- beshert, children, money, health, bring back to way of Hashem...
"Yaakov lived in Mitzrayim for 17 years; and the days of Yaakov, the years of his life were 147 years". We know from Parshas VaYigash (47:9) that Yaakov was 130 years old when he came to Mitzrayim. Once the pasuk informs us that he lived the remainder of his life in Mitzrayim, it is not
In Gan Eden Adam and Chava were the happiest they could ever be when they got married. Why? Because they knew they were beshert, they knew they were destined for each other. There was noone else!! Even thought there are now lots of other people in the world, as soon as you are married to each other it's as if there is noone else in the world.
