Tatte… its me… do you recognize me? I know that You see me all the time, but I havent seen you. I have been so lost. But now I see you everywhere. I see You in the sky, the moon, the stars, the clouds. I see you when a blade of grass moves and when the wind blows my hair. I see you when a leaf falls and when the tree branches dance for the greatness of Your name. I see You when I say Shema at night and when I wake up in the morning.
I remind myself that even when I am blind, when things are so hard and I mamesh can’t see anything. When my pain is sometimes blinding, I know that in that darkness you are there, holding my hand, guiding me. When I put my hands over my eyes and I can’t see, I know that You will guide me every step of the way. When I look in the mirror. There is a piece of You in me. You are my Creator. I see you when I look at the reflection in my eyes.
I want to make you proud. I want to give You nachas. I know that I got a little lost along the way. But I see now that my “wrong” turns weren’t wrong turns. They led me directly back to You. I have made alot of mistakes, and I felt like You weren’t happy with me. It is easy to feel that way, but it was my Yetzer Hara.
That Yetzer Hara is so powerful. But I know, I realize now, that every mistake was a step of growth, a step of humility, a step closer to You. When I thought it made me distant, I realize that the only one causing the distance was me. You were there with me all along. It has been a year of obstacles, of struggles, where I had no where to turn, but right into Your arms.
I did Tatty, aren’t You proud of me? I know You are. I can feel it in my heart. I know I am a diamond in Your eyes. I am a little dirty though, a little rusty, from all of the distractions and taivas that came my way. I know that I have to clean myself up a lot more. But I am still a diamond. Your diamond. I know you can see how beautiful I really can be.
With hard work and Your help, I can shine with Your light, and reflect it on to others.
Please help me see myself as the diamond that I really am in Your eyes, and help me and all of Klal Yisrael shine with your light, bringing the geula shelaimah and having that light revealed throughout the world.